How is your meditation going?

Kadampa BuddhaMeditation is the way to access our own pure potential for mental freedom and happiness, gain deep experience of Buddha’s teachings, and really change for the better.

(Check out this article in Spanish here.)

My tradition, the New Kadampa Tradition, is a meditator’s tradition – every sentence we hear in the teachings is intended to be an object of meditation, to be taken into the heart so that it becomes part of us. This Buddhist tradition stems from Buddha Shakyamuni, who clearly was the master of meditation. Later Je Tsongkhapa mastered all Buddha’s teachings of Sutra and Tantra, spent many years in meditation retreat, and taught immensely practical, experiential, and profound methods for gaining all the realizations of Lamrim, Lojong, and the union of bliss and emptiness (Mahamudra) revealed by Buddha. As a result of this, many of his disciples gained enlightenment in 3 years and 3 months.Je Tsongkhapa

The founder of the New Kadampa Tradition, Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, has also spent about half of his life in meditation retreat on these same methods, much of it solitary, and has been meditating since he was a child. Many of Geshe Kelsang’s disciples are very proficient meditators too. We have no shortage of powerful examples showing how far meditation can take us.

Sometimes this tradition can be a bit talky – we talk a lot about the teachings but may not get round to meditating on them as much as perhaps we could. And over the years I have heard a number of people say that they find meditation hard and that they are not making as much progress in meditation as they’d like. They love the teachings, but find they can’t make them stick, and are sometimes discouraged to find they not really changing much. Some people even give up altogether.

Geshe-la meditating on a rock

I have thought about this quite a lot because I believe that we can make meditation harder than it needs to be even though, thanks to Buddha, Je Tsongkhapa, Geshe Kelsang, and their students, we, unbelievably, have access to the same liberating methods. I have always loved meditating, and I have already written a few things that I thought might be helpful here based on what I like to do (see end of article). But the other day in England, an old friend dating back to the early years of the NKT came to visit me. She told me that in the last couple of years her meditations had improved exponentially, and we discussed why. She volunteered all the things she had been doing “wrong” over the years and, with her permission, I thought I’d share this with you.

How not to meditate

(1)    Start by feeling inadequate, insecure, limited, perhaps even depressed, and think: “I really should meditate because I am so inadequate, insecure, limited, perhaps even depressed.” ie, identify with being a limited person from the outset, rather than identifying with your pure potential.

(2)    Do a few minutes half-hearted breathing meditation to try and settle the mind and get rid of at least a few of those strong distractions and delusions, but know really that it is a hopeless cause to try and get rid of all of them because, after all, I can’t meditate.

(3)    Perhaps do some prayers if we haven’t already done them distractedly at the beginning of the session – find it hard to stay focused on them as we’re not really in the zone, and thinking it doesn’t really matter as at least we’ll be creating some good karma.

(4)    Follow the guidelines for meditation – intellectually follow and repeat lines of reasoning that should lead us to our desired object, which is something we are not feeling at all at the moment; and, if we don’t get to our object, make it up. When the object fades, talk to ourselves some more. (Perhaps spend most of the meditation talking to ourselves and practically none of it absorbed.)

(5)    Push for blessings. I am inadequate etc and can’t meditate, but bless me anyway to get this object.

(6)    Feel slightly exhausted and make yourself a cup of coffee. Try and be good all day, but not from a natural place of deep inner peace and connectedness but because you know you’re supposed to be.

(7)    Result = no taste. Guilt. No fun. No progress. Commiserate with others experiencing the same thing. “I really can’t meditate!” “Don’t worry, nor can I!” Eventually stop trying at all.

Some solutions

My friend was not alone – she told me she found many people with whom to commiserate! Kadam Morten helped a lot of them when he led meditations in the new year at Manjushri Centre. As he and I have a long connection and practice in a very similar way, I thought I’d share some of these solutions. (Then please feel free to add your own ideas in the comments.) 

(1)    Tune in to what you have

Bear in car cute
Bear, recently died.

Relax into your meditation posture and then start where you are, allowing yourself to just sit there feeling positive and happy for a few minutes. Connect to any of the positive feelings you already have inside you, such as love for a cherished niece, compassion for a suffering animal you saw online, or a happy feeling you had when you understood that everything was dream-like. Enjoy that for a while. Don’t identify as a limited person and then take this into your meditation, “I am a terrible meditator, but here I am about to try and meditate”; this is self-defeating. Your good feeling is part of your Buddha nature, your endless capacity for kindness and improvement; you are going to meditate with this mind.

(2)    Settle the mind effectively

Start with one of the methods for overcoming distraction (see below), but to make this effective, recognize from the outset that you are just getting back to who and what you actually are. Your mind is naturally at rest and concentrated. Below your chattering thoughts, it is spontaneously pure, spacious, warm-hearted, vast, even blissful. But we don’t appreciate this. We are addicted to movement, skitting around on the surface of our minds with our constant inner chatter, babble, and anxieties, forgetting, if we ever knew it, who we really are and of what we are capable.

We are like droplets of water constantly thrown up on a vast, deep, boundless ocean, glinting and glittering and sometimes dancing around, but with no idea that they are water. We are so busy focusing outward that we forget or neglect the wellspring of happiness we already have inside. We have to remember this, our Buddha nature, if we are to allow ourselves to go deep and make progress. As Geshe Kelsang says in the chapter What is Meditation?:clear lake

“When the turbulence of distracting thoughts subsides and our mind becomes still, a deep happiness and contentment naturally arises from within…. We shall experience a calm, spacious feeling in the mind, and many of our usual problems will fall away. Difficult situations will become easier to deal with, we will naturally feel warm and well-disposed toward other people, and our relationships with others will gradually improve.” ~ Introduction to Buddhism

Notice the expressions “naturally” and “fall away” – there is no pushing here, you are just allowing those droplets of water to dissolve back into the profound stillness and clarity of your own root mind.

There are various methods to settle the mind, such as the different types of breathing meditation, for example focusing on the sensation of the breath at the nostrils, breathing smoke-like problems out and light-like blessings in, taking and giving, or OM AH HUM; as well as clarity of mind meditation, absorption of cessation of gross conceptual thought, and transforming enjoyments. We can all experience relative peace of mind by just focusing on the breath for a few minutes and letting the mind come to rest — then we pay attention to this experience. This is your own inner peace, you don’t need to add anything.

(3)    Identify with who you are, not who your ignorance says you are

Identify with this peace and spaciousness at your heart, thinking:

“This is who I actually am. Any peace I have, however slight, is my potential for lasting peace and happiness.”

Buddha smileIt is the peaceful, happy mind we liberate, not the agitated mind. Our inner peace is our Buddha nature or Buddha seed. Give yourself permission to experience this inner peace. Then enjoy this mind and deepen the experience. (You don’t need to grasp at the experience of inner peace and get tense, or you’ll lose it. Just sit back and relax.)

The inadequate, insecure, limited, perhaps even depressed you is not in fact you. This self is part of samsara, and is created by your ignorance. This self is just a thought, an hallucination, an idea – and a bad idea at that, so let it go. Don’t believe it. This is not the self that is going to become enlightened. Relate to yourself as inner peace and endless potential. Don’t relate to a limited self; you are limitless. You are not intrinsically a loser at meditation or anything else. Remember the lack of intrinsic characteristics, understanding that the only limitations you have are the ones you are creating.

(4)    Tune in to enlightened reality, blessings

Our peace and happiness are actually related to enlightened reality, its very seeds; and we naturally open ourselves to blessings if we understand this. Once you have realized your full potential you’ll become a Buddha, just like the Buddhas whom we can remember in front of us, around us, and/or inside us. Faith in the Buddhas necessitates faith in our own enlightened potential.

Also, others have this same potential and I want to help them realize it – you can remember that you are surrounded by living beings, those you’re already feeling connected to next to you, and tune into love and compassion.

As we’re in the presence of enlightened beings, we can think we are already in their vast, blissful, pure land, filled with offerings that we’re all enjoying. (This is included explicitly in the first 2 verses in Essence of Good Fortune, “May the whole ground become completely pure” and “May all of space be filled with offerings”.) If you do this, you’ll probably then have fun doing the prayers either verbally or mentally, and find it easy to focus on their meaning.

lotus reflectionIf you set your meditation up right, you will have no need to push for blessings because you’ll be receiving them naturally and can simply enjoy them. Your happy mind is a natural conduit for them. You can visualize them as lights and nectars if it’s helpful. Although Buddhas are blessing everyone all the time to bring them any measure of inner peace (it’s Buddha’s function), you can’t receive so-called “special” blessings to grow the seeds of your realizations if you’re holding tightly onto a limited sense of who you are and therefore feeling separate from them and miserable – trying vainly to feel the sun without opening up the shutters.

At any point in the meditation, right at the beginning even, as soon as it feels right and you’re ready, dissolve Guru Buddha into your heart, let your mind mix with his like a stream flowing into a vast, blissful ocean; and he can do the meditation with you.

(5)    Make it your own idea through contemplation and meditation

Feel you already have the object of meditation for a few moments, eg, “I think others are important and their happiness matters.” Pause to feel that. “Now I need to make this insight stronger and more stable.” We already have the seeds  for every single realization needed for enlightenment; through contemplation and meditation we are now watering these to grow them, not adding them from elsewhere to our mind.

Contemplate skillfully by asking yourself questions to make the meditations relevant to your own background, “Is this true for me? What examples do I have of this? Is today’s body really a result of others’ kindness?”, for example. Tune into your own experiences and build on those. Be creative in your meditations, use examples and analogies that move you. The idea is to make this your own idea, not just a good idea that someone else has had. Don’t dryly repeat things to yourself.

Although we know all our meditation objects through conceptual thought to begin with, this doesn’t mean that we have to over-think things or be exaggeratedly intellectual. When you want to protect your beloved dog, you are knowing him through a generic image; but that is not any kind of obstacle nor a dry intellectual thought — you still know him and love him viscerally, in your heart.

mirageA lot of our meditation objects are hidden in that they depend upon reasoning for us to discover them. So, let’s say you are meditating on emptiness, contemplating that all the things we normally perceive do not exist because they are analytically unfindable and whatever cannot be found cannot exist from its own side (and, if you like, throw in an example, like a mirage). We do gain our initial realizations of emptiness through correct beliefs and inferences, through such conceptual reasonings as this, but we still do realize our object and it does appear to us, and we need to stop thinking around it and just absorb into it.

For example, fire is a hidden object that we can know through the existence of smoke because we have reasoned correctly that wherever there is smoke there is fire. But let’s say you see smoke and know there is fire. Are you earnestly repeating to yourself: “Wherever there is smoke, there is fire; here there is smoke, therefore there is fire. Wherever there is smoke, there is fire; here there is smoke, therefore there is fire etc.”? No. You just know fire. You can stay with that knowledge; stop reminding yourself about how you came to know it. Also, its consequences are implicit, eg, you need to run get a hose! But in the case of emptiness, we don’t need at this point to run do anything, we can just sit with it and its extraordinary implications will sink in without the need for further analysis.

It is similar with all our meditations – as Geshe Kelsang says, for example, we start off by using the rounds of reasoning for realizing that death is definite and its time is uncertain, and we conclude: “I may die today, I may die today”, but then we concentrate on the feeling that it evokes. We stop repeating the reasoning and the words to ourselves and, like an eagle flying with barely a movement of its wings, we stay with the object in a spacious environment, identifying with it, enjoying it. Feel like you’re home. You’ve just arrived in your holiday cottage by the sea and can sit back and put your feet up. (And you’re not alone – the enlightened beings are right there on holiday with you.)

Bear in mind that it’s easy to generate any Lamrim mind when we are connected to our happiness and our potential. It is actually impossible to generate any Lamrim mind when we are identified with the self that we normally perceive, in other words when we are identifying with our limitations. See this article for examples.

(6)    Take your happiness for a walk

Charlie BrownIn the meditation break, keep connecting to that peaceful mind and insight so that when you return to your meditation seat you can quickly get back to it as there has been no real gap. Morten uses the analogy of walking a dog – take your happiness for a walk with you, remembering your happiness in and out of meditation. “Enjoy your mind”, he says, keep bringing the mind back to peace. Familiarize your mind with this source of happiness, then you’ll become a happy person. Don’t stamp on the small seedlings of peace/good experiences like a bad gardener stamping on tiny shoots of plants by identifying yourself with any delusions that arise. Protect your small seedlings of peace and happiness, go for refuge in them as your Dharma Jewel, and they will grow naturally.  As the Kadampa motto goes:

“Always rely upon a happy mind alone.”

If you understand that your happiness is your inner peace and you identify where it is and connect to it, and then you combine this knowledge with your constant, spontaneous wish to be happy, you will naturally go for refuge in your own inner peace both in and out of meditation.

I hope this helps. If we become good meditators, we can help others become good meditators too, and what a gift that will be.

Your turn: please share your own methods for being a happy, successful meditator. Or if you have any questions or doubts you want to clear up, please spell them out too.

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Author: Luna Kadampa

Based on 40 years' experience, I write about applying meditation and modern Buddhism to improve and transform our everyday lives and societies. I try to make it accessible to everyone anywhere who wants more inner peace and profound tools to help our world, not just Buddhists. Do make comments any time and I'll write you back!

31 thoughts on “How is your meditation going?”

  1. This article is so helpful! Thank you very much.

    I have one bit of advice to offer: prioritize meditation in your life. I know how important meditation is for me and yet I still often relegate it to something that it squeezed into a ridiculously busy schedule and that is “good” when simply crossed off my mental to-do list. Such a session is noticeably better than nothing but surely not the transformative experience that it is when I prepare properly and give myself the time to absorb fully. I know this but still find myself fighting to make the time to realize my true potential. What else am I doing that’s so important?

  2. Wow this is put so beautiful I have such a better understanding now. Will be able to mediate better. Please explain what is blessings. Really enjoy your write up. You are amazing.

  3. Thank you! I’m very new to Kadampa and meditation. This was well written and easy to take in for my own practice.

  4. The whole ‘dropping the thoughts and remaining on the feeling’ is often difficult. Is there any reason why it would be a problem to keep a visual image in the mind once the thoughts have been dropped-to keep the feeling from fading?

  5. Thank you, yet again, for being a messenger of AHHHHHHHH….I have needed this for my many years of Dharma practice and still do. You are amazing and I am grateful that you appear in our world.

  6. Unimaginably inspiring.What a great article.Makes me want to throw myself headlong back into my meditation practice that has waned.

  7. Would you be kind enough to give some pointing out instructions on the cessation of gross conceptual thoughts,or turning the mind to wood?I think I remember Geshe la saying this is something we can give to family and friends as a form of help,a sort of emergency medicine.I don’t often here it mentioned or practiced-is this because it can be misunderstood?I especially remember your lovely guided meditation on turning the mind to wood!
    Thank you for all you do on this sight.

  8. What a wonderfully useful article! This advice from senior practitioners is really appreciated. I plan to read it again and again.

  9. I also found Mortens course very helpful and encouraging. This article does the same. Its got “happiness” and “lightness” stamped right across it. Thank you.

  10. Brilliant article! This post has made a world of difference in my meditations and cleared up many questions that I had. Thank you for this!

  11. Thank you very much for an inspiring and very true article – it makes a ton of sense to focus on growing whatever small recognitions we have, rather than focusing on all the parts we do not understand. And equally it makes sense to move the meditation towards the sensory and intuitive understanding resting with the sense of the meditation object, rather than intellectually trying to hammer it into our understanding!

  12. Thank you so much for that article. It’s very helpful and inspiring. Love Drima xx x

  13. This is amazing! I will return to read this again and again. It reminds me of sitting in the KMC temple in New York one snowy January, when Gen Samten was leading on a Mahamudra retreat. While explaining how it should feel when we meditate on emptiness, he just said, “it’s like sinking into a warm bath”. I loved that line, and the ease and enjoyment it evoked. And your wonderful article evoked it again. Thank you!

  14. Lovely advice, thank you 🙂
    My mind inevitably wanders around to random, interesting places. It can happen for awhile before it occurs to me that Im off track. Then instead of forcing myself off these thoughts or giving up, I start observing what im thinking for bit. Inevitably, or most of the time, theres a way to use whatever you’re musing over and look that with Dharma eyes,
    like how can this get me to freedom and bliss, and urgency comes to focus in a delightful way
    rather than a resigned or agitated way. That smooth approach lets a lot of wisdom flow in, ahhhh

  15. Lovely article, Luna 🙂 Thanks for your encouragement to just sit quietly with whatever understanding we have of a subtle object. It’s too tempting to spend the contemplation fluttering around looking for it, and never actually spending any quality time with the object. That’s the blissful bit where our mind moves as well 🙂

    One point I would emphasise, is the importance of meditating with a mind that’s already fairly comfortable. I think it’s important to begin with a reasonably balanced state of mind, or we’ll blame the meditation for the negativity we brought with us into session. Procrastination isn’t good, but I don’t think you can force these things either. It’s just something to be aware of, isn’t it.

  16. A beautiful article, very practical and ‘realistic’, coming from experience. Thank you for the great advice 🙂

  17. Thank you so much for this great article! It was just what I was needing today. I have been having a tough time talking myself into formal meditation because I have been so busy with worldly things to deal with such as moving, that I have been listening to more recordings and thinking about teachings more often than before, but having a harder time sitting down. Reading this article has inspired me to sit down more and I am more excited to get back into a routine. Life goes by so quickly that really all the mundane things don’t matter as much as I mistake them to. This is very helpful and I think I should read it many many times. Many of the analogies help to open my mind to the subject in a way I have not thought about it before.

    Thanks Luna! Keep it coming!

  18. I have called myself a Buddhist for a lot of years, but never really had a meditation practice “of my own”. That is until this New Year, when I made a resolution to meditate every day, even if it was for just 5 minutes. I decided not to push myself, and if I felt like it to just meditate on the breath. I hoped that my practice would grow naturally as I started to feel the benefit. I think this is starting to happen.
    I can identify with most of the “how not to meditate” points, even though I know intellectually how faulty this approach is. It is great to be reminded of the “correct way”.
    The benefits I have felt from meditation are quite worldly – in that I feel more confident at work, more in control, slightly less anxious. I feel a bit more energy to deal with everyday things. Is this a problem? Using Dharma for the wrong purpose?
    If we start by thinking we already have these good qualities, is this not pretentious pride? Deluding ourself?
    You have given a lot of advice above, how can one skilfully integrate it into our practice, because I don’t think I can remember it all at once. I have noticed this from your other articles, each one I think, “That is great advice, I will have to remember that” And then promptly forget most of it, and find myself with a great list of articles to re-read.
    Thanks for another great article Luna. x

    1. I don’t believe that your mind being calmer and happier in whatever context could at all be thought of as using Dharma for the wrong purpose. Rather, that is the purpose of Dharma. And by the same token, if you have an awareness of your pride, you are definietely not deluding youself but quite the opposite. x

  19. Wow! Just what I needed… some practical encouragement to improve my experience of meditation. I need to identify more strongly with my potential and then I will naturally connect to the power of the lineage blessings. No need to push but just open up and relax into it.

    This is so useful to me, Luna. May all Kadampas identify with their true potential and help others do the same. Cooking on gas, sister! xxx

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