Building self-confidence with meditation

7 mins read

I got the chance over the holidays to house sit in the Rockies, taking care of 2 Dogs, 2 Cats, and an unspecified number of Fish. I took the time to do lots of meditation, in between animals jumping on me, that is, and hiking up snowy mountains.

25994971_10155953488152442_8915196409857787568_nNever since I was a child woken cheerily by my mom have I been so consistently warmly greeted in the mornings… What I learned from Charlie and Maverick is that it can be very cool waking up — to jump out of bed and wag your figurative tail and be practically ecstatic to see everyone … You can bounce delightedly around the yard (again, figuratively) and relish every tiny treat that comes your way, as if it was the Best Thing Ever.

This is not, I am sorry to say, how I normally wake up, which is slowly and requiring tea. But I figured this week that if dogs can be this enthusiastic about waking up and being alive each morning, then I certainly can too with my precious human life.

And so to help get our 2018 off to a good start, I’m now going to outline a ten-minute meditation for developing some confidence in inner peace (as explained in the article Changing direction), as well as in ourselves. We can relax into our heart, contemplate a little, and decide to love our way out of our problems instead of relying upon the usual attachment or aversion.

downloadFirst a bit more background.

Has anyone not had a problem today?

Whenever I ask this, it is rare that people say yes. Truth is, everyone in the world has problems, except for those who have controlled their minds. And whatever problem we’ve got, the first thing we need to be able to do is relax and let it go. Stop holding onto it so tightly and — even if only for a short while — quit trying to solve that problem outside of ourselves.

Whatever problem we’re having at the moment, we can examine our customary methods of solving it. Do these involve attachment or aversion — trying to fix something, manipulate the object or person, change the situation? And is it working?

It’s not working, is it? That’s pretty wild. Why do we keep doing it? We don’t have to keep doing it, so at least there’s that.

f7f610fb4efcff233711ba54ea373a31Our inner peace is always there, latent, because it is the very nature of our mind. It is just that we are constantly shaking it up, like shaking up a glass of water for example. Left to its own devices, when not following attachment and aversion, our mind is as clear and pure and peaceful as a still glass of water. But when something attractive or unpleasant appears to us, it’s like we shake this water up and down and around and around. Our mind gets turbulent; it can go quite crazy quite quickly. And the peace and and the purity and the clarity – why, we forget it’s even there.

We feel so involved with the object outside our mind, and it’s so frustrating because there’s nothing we can do about so many of these things we try to do things about. Such as trying to change other people’s behavior.

How’s that going for you? Trying to get people to cooperate? Good luck. At best, we can get people to cooperate for a few days or a few minutes. Through force, or bribery … Or if it happens to coincide with their interests. We can’t even control our own thoughts at the moment, so what makes us think we can control other people or external situations? copo_agua

As I’ve said loads of times, this doesn’t mean we stop doing anything practical at all. But it does mean that we change our motivation and our understanding of where problems really come from and how to solve them for ourselves and others.

So here’s the meditation:

We can begin by simply relaxing into a good meditation posture, with a straight back. We relax our shoulders, relax our arms with our hands resting in our lap, and so on. We take a moment to focus on how we’re sitting and let everything else go. We don’t need it for this meditation.

We can feel contented for the duration of this meditation, thinking:

I have this opportunity to increase my compassion and wisdom, learning to use it to solve my own and others’ problems.

We feel too, that we’re already in our heart. We have dropped from our head into our heart, and all wave-like problematic thoughts have dissolved away into the clarity and peace of our ocean-like root mind. Just imagine.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Now to settle the mind some more, everything that’s on our mind, everything that needs to be solved outside, all those uncontrolled thoughts that keep trying to go outwards all the time … these all take the form of thick heavy smoke. And we recognize:

I don’t need to keep thinking these thoughts that constantly shake up my natural peace of mind. I can let them go.

Every time we exhale, we now breathe this thick smoke through our nostrils, and it completely disappears. We do this for a few minutes, feeling our mind becoming lighter and more free with every breath.

Now every time we inhale, feel that our breath is in the aspect of very blissful light, and breathe this deep into our heart. It is not just light, it is inner peace, it is blessings, it is the love, compassion, and wisdom of all enlightened beings. We feel this filling our heart with every in-breath, spiritual sunshine dispelling the darkness of ignorance. We do this for a few minutes with concentration and conviction.

Now we are in our heart, experiencing peace, warmth, light. It is true:

I don’t have a care in the world!

Our mind feels radiant and peaceful. We feel happy. (Even if we don’t feel totally happy just yet, we can still imagine we do – everything starts in the imagination, everything IS imagination or imputation.)

And we develop the confidence that we have everything we need inside us: 

I don’t need to keep going outside of myself to get happy and solve problems, I already got it going on inside.

So we relax into this peaceful feeling, thinking:

This is me. I can always feel this way. And I can deepen this.

Within this peaceful space, we can now take any problem that is coming up for us in our life and spend a couple of minutes seeing how we’re trying to solve it with attachment or aversion, how we are grappling with it like a dog with a bone.

And then we can examine in our own experience whether this is working for us, whether it has ever worked, and whether it is ever going to work.

If we check like this, we can see that we’re trying to solve our problems and get happy using the very same minds that are creating these problems and making us unhappy in the first place.

So we can contemplate this conclusion for a couple of minutes:

I am going to give up this useless way of solving problems — by dropping these delusions and using Dharma instead. The more I familiarize myself with wisdom and compassion, for example, the more genuinely peaceful and problem-free I will become.

Finally, we can observe how, instead of other people being the objects of our delusions, we can transform them into the objects of our love and compassion; at which point they cease being a problem for us.

And one day, with practice, we will have the love and compassion of a fully enlightened being, constantly radiating bliss into the hearts of all living beings, zapping and transforming them with blessings.th

We’ll be like Buddha Shakyamuni, who is now appearing in our life and in front of us as our Spiritual Guide, guiding and inspiring us through these teachings. He is surrounded by the countless Buddhas and Bodhisattvas — those who have completed their mind-training — and we can think:

I want to and I will become part of this enlightened assembly.

With this intention we can, if we want to, do the Liberating Prayer.

Then, when we rise from this meditation, our mind is calmer and will remain so for as long as we stay mindful of our own inner peace. We will feel more confident that we have what we need inside us and, interestingly enough, as a result we’ll get a lot more done to help people.

Happy New Year! May we solve our own and others’ problems for real, and bring genuine peace and happiness into the world.

Related articles

Good beginnings

New Year’s resolution to meditate

Doing meditation retreat

The relevance of inner peace

Turn on, tune in, drop out

Turn on the faith, tune in to the blessings, and drop out of samsara (i.e. life characterized by delusions). This is the final article on the subject of blessings — the rest you can find here.

Love is all you need

Blessings are inseparable from love as they are the nature of the clear light mind of bliss and in Tantra this bliss is the same as love and compassion. It is not too hard to understand that, for what happier mind is there than unconditional love?

Indeed, love and compassion are just the other side of the coin from the wisdom realizing lack of inherent, or independent, existence. Cherishing others arises naturally from the wisdom understanding the interdependence of all phenomena, our utter interconnectedness. Holy beings cannot help but love us unconditionally, it is their nature; and I believe the utter joy that my grandfather felt came from the love.

blessed squirrel?!

The more frequently we tune into enlightened beings’ love, the quicker we can develop. Interestingly, studies show that when human beings feel they are receiving love, and even when animals feel they are receiving love, their full potential to learn is activated. I’m not the only one to have noticed that if you give an animal a lot of love, you get  far more out of her; she is more engaged and intelligent. So if we are feeling the love of the Buddhas and other holy beings and bathing in it, our full potential for love (and wisdom) will also be sparked.

“I am not worthy!”

We have to understand and believe that the holy beings love us. (This includes any holy being — the Buddhas, Jesus, God, or whomever you have faith in). It doesn’t really work if we are projecting judgmental, critical, hard-hearted characteristics onto holy beings, due to our own lack of self-worth or useless feelings of unloveability, unworthiness or guilt. This is facing North. My teacher Geshe Kelsang says:

For example, even if the sun is shining in the sky, if our door is facing North the sun will not come in. This is not the sun’s fault; this is the house’s fault! Similarly, even if Buddhas are ready to bestow blessings, the liberating path, if we are facing the opposite direction, this is our fault, not Buddha’s fault. We need to face them and make a relationship or connection through developing faith and devotion and making requests. Between us we will then receive protection from them.

When we feel holy beings’ love flowing into us, it is not hard to then pass that on to our family, friends and other living beings, for we feel, rightly, that there is infinite love to go around. It pours out of us. Geshe Kelsang wrote a beautiful praise to Buddha Shakyamuni called Liberating Prayer, which includes these words:

Please nourish me with your goodness,
That I in turn may nourish all beings
With an unceasing banquet of delight.

Blessings, like atmosphere, are everywhere

Most people would agree that the atmosphere in a war zone is less conducive to peace than the atmosphere in a temple or cathedral. Many things are invisible and even undetectable by physical means, but nonetheless exist: sorrow, pain, hope, for instance; or an atmosphere of tension or distrust in a room. We feel blessings in our heart as a sort of glow, like feeling the sun on our skin – a source of energy that we might never fully understand until we’re enlightened, but that is still there.

Gravity is there and we are all entirely affected by it, although apart from theoretical physicists not many of us actually understand it. Blessings exist too, an invisible force that cannot be seen or tasted but is still capable of drawing us into its orbit. In fact, blessings are enlightened mind and we are already in their orbit, we just haven’t necessarily tuned in with faith yet.

Turn on the radio receiver of faith
Turn on the faith, tune into the blessings, drop out of samsara

In this article, I likened faith to a radio receiver — radio waves are always playing around us but whether or not we hear the music depends on whether or not we turn on the radio. Same thing for blessings.

Actually, faith is not that mysterious either. If we understand the three types of faith – believing, admiring and wishing – we can see that faith is not a bolt from the blue or blind, but something we can cultivate like any other positive state of mind. (But, if you do go ahead and cultivate it, make sure you can handle all the blissings that are going to come your way!)

Your turn

Since this article, I have written eight more on blessings (one is actually by a guest writer); they can all be found here. Now I’m sure everyone, including me, would love to hear more from other people! Please leave your comments in the box below.

Please share these articles with anyone who might want more blessings in their life.