First, a little anecdote
Why the emotional resistance?
Knowing about subtle impermanence (carrying on from this article) can in fact make life fun, full, and vibrant. To begin with, however, thinking about all this constant changing can make us feel a bit insecure, like there is nothing to hold on to. “I want something to hold on to!” We may feel a little threatened, even though it is such a beautiful truth, which makes it hard to open our heart to this teaching. How can we overcome this emotional resistance?
See the beauty
Gen Samten says that the secret, he feels, is to approach these teachings from point of view of seeing their beauty. If we see them as threatening, we’ll have resistance, but if we see them as beautiful we’ll naturally open up to them. It’s a bit like loving poetry or a work of art. My mother has an always open poetry book on her kitchen counter, and can quote reams of the stuff by heart. She finds the poems beautiful and so reads them in a certain way — enjoys contemplating the nuances and drinking them in (and all while cooking the supper …)
This, basically, is faith, particularly what is called “admiring faith”. Society may be a bit confused in general about faith, and even see it as contrary to wisdom (it’s not, they are mutually compatible). But in reality faith is one of most basic human emotions and is intrinsic to inner transformation. Buddhism teaches believing faith, admiring faith, and wishing faith. Here, we come to believe in the truth of the teaching, that everything changes moment by moment, and this is believing faith. Then we appreciate it, finding beauty in its special qualities, and this increases our admiring faith. As a result we wish to practice this truth in our lives, and this is wishing faith.
Another little anecdote
Not unusually for this blog, I am writing this article on a plane – this one from Denver to London via Charlotte. Just now I was waiting outside the restroom and trying to make the most of each moment by looking at the rows of heads in front of me, thinking: “What is their life like?” And then the verse on equalizing self and others/developing affectionate love from Offering to the Spiritual Guide:
In that no one ever wishes for even the slightest suffering,
Or is ever content with the happiness they have,
There is no difference between myself and others;
Realizing this, I seek your blessings joyfully to make others happy.
That way I was having that pleasant feeling that I was no more important than anyone else on the plane, including the person taking a rather long time in the restroom. Ten minutes later he came out, a young man with a huge beam on his face, carrying the book “The Power of Now”. So make of that what you will.
We’re all gonna die!
Buddha taught that there are two levels of impermanence – gross and subtle. For example, with respect to a house, its subtle impermanence is the moment by moment changes that happen continually for the duration of its existence; and its gross impermanence is when it falls down, finishes. We can see this everywhere – a tree grows and changes constantly, which is subtle impermanence; and then it dies, gross impermanence.
To live our lives in the moment, in the light of subtle impermanence, we have to learn to live it in the light of gross impermanence, which means living our life with an understanding of the truth that we are going to die.
Consider these two possibilities in relation to yourself: “I will die today” and “I won’t die today”. Seems to cover all options!
Now if we ask ourselves which of these applies to me …? We can’t say. All we can say is “I may die today. I may not, but I may.” Both those statements are true.
However, if we go around assuming “I won’t die today”, our life doesn’t do anything special. If somebody gives us something valuable and we treat it as worthless, we will waste it, of course. Our life is so valuable, but if we treat it as something mundane or never-ending we will waste it. However, if we think “I may die today”, we extract the meaning and the preciousness of our life. We will treat it as valuable, and we will stop taking it for granted.
It’s a wonderful life
One great benefit from understanding that we may die today is that we stop worrying about tomorrow. Instead we wake in the morning and think, “I want to live today in a way that is very meaningful, show kindness to others, make today special, without worrying about tomorrow.” It’s like our only mission is to make today a wonderful day.
So what is a meaningful life, a wonderful life? Is it not made up of meaningful years, months, weeks, and days?
On the one hand, we can stop dwelling on the past because it has gone — every day is a new day. And on the other hand we can stop worrying about the future – I may die today. All that is real for us is today. And then we just focus our energy on today. Then, day by day, naturally our whole life will be meaningful.
Create a boundary
Boundaries can be useful for protecting our minds, and perhaps one of the most useful is a boundary around today. Gen Samten uses the example of food that is vacuum packed to keep it fresh — we can keep today new and fresh, not contaminated by worries of what might happen tomorrow. Through the power of our determination we can think:
I’m not going to worry about what might happen tomorrow or next week or next month. I may die today. All I will focus on is enjoying today in a meaningful manner.
It is like we need to build a wall around today and focus our mental energy within it. Otherwise, worry is a big problem for us and one we have little control over – our thoughts are running around in a non-existent future: “How will I be able to cope if that happens?” If we focus just on today, our mind will be peaceful. This is such a good habit to build.
The wall goes behind us as well — I’m not going to dwell on the past. Maybe I screwed up terribly yesterday but that is outside the wall. I am not going to recreate that today. And then we are freed from the burden of all the mistakes we have made because they are outside the wall and we just focus on what is inside.
It doesn’t mean that we don’t learn from our mistakes or make plans for the future, but it does mean that we spend most of our energy on today. Reverse that original percentage — spend 10% of our energy thinking about the past and future and 90% concentrating on today! Building any wall takes time – we can’t just throw it up, it takes time to build up this mental habit. But it is very do-able.
Today is your first day. It may also be your last…
Next installment is here.
15 Comments
Such an awesome teaching…. Thank you sooo much. A section that I found so powerful:
“So what is a meaningful life, a wonderful life? Is it not made up of meaningful years, months, weeks, and days?
On the one hand, we can stop dwelling on the past because it has gone — every day is a new day. And on the other hand we can stop worrying about the future – I may die today. All that is real for us is today. And then we just focus our energy on today. Then, day by day, naturally our whole life will be meaningful.” Love it! ❤️
I love it too … got it from Gen Samten 🙂 x
Very helpful and beautifully written. Thank you.
Even scientists rely upon faith. It’s based on logical observation of facts. If I do a certain practice that I’m advised works, or examine my mind and use antidotes to heal negative emotions. I can observe for myself how they help. Then I have faith in the practice. Even relying upon prayers. I notice how instantly peaceful I feel. There is so much negative hype about prayer and faith with out even checking what they are and how they work. Blind denial hurts.
Reblogged this on Thai Fancy Pants and commented:
I like the French artist NoTime Toulouse…
Your mind can build any size wall around todays activities? Yes… Thank you… Luna…
I was drinking a chocolate milkshake as I read this and when I took a sip I thought about how each sip was a completely new sip in the “whole” milkshake experience. How I usually grasp at finishing it to feel satisfied but when tasting each new sip I enjoyed each one in and of itself. Dharma in a milkshake, how wonderful! 😀
awesome!! so my death is gross impermanence, now there’s a name to all the other stuff that comes and goes in my life, like sleeping, eating, walking my dog 😉 – SUBTLE impemanence
sort of — even sleeping, eating etc have gross impermanence and subtle impermanence 🙂 Subtle impermanence is the moment by moment change that is generally imperceptible to our naked eye.
Great teaching, L. Very practical and helpful. Loved it xxxx
Thanks to Gen Samten. I love his idea of putting a boundary around the day. It really works well.
If you vacuum pack your day
You will live it another way
I love Gen Samten’s wisdom! (Admiring faith)
He once said “Our mind is like an open wound” and this has really helped me understand the pervasiveness of suffering (I actually wrote and recorded a song called ‘Open Wound’. I don’t think ‘vacuum packed day’ will work 🙂
Sean in Windermere
I’m sure you could write a song about vacuum packed days, Sean, if you put your mind to it 😉
Thanks again L. This series on impermance is very helpful.
As well as seeing the Dharma wisdom as beautiful, I think it can be helpful to see it as something I already know, but am just reminding myself of. It’s there already in my mind, I’m just uncovering it.
Thinking like this brings the wisdom closer, making it more meaningful and relevant.
Love, Tim
That is really good, helpful! Thank you.