Why do we do the crazy things we do? For our stupidest behavior, we blame bad genes and peer pressure; for the deeds we want to own, we credit a steely sense of purpose or even divine guidance. But a disturbing new force is emerging as a remote driver of our behavior … ~ The Week, March 9 2012
But what do we think really causes our delusions and suffering?
“… of our behavior: parasites.” ~ The Week
At the moment we tend to think that happiness comes from out there, and we also think that our problems come from out there. We will generally blame someone, something, anyone, anything, rather than our own states of mind. Even parasites!
A recent story in The Atlantic lays out the chilling case that a microbe called Toxoplasma gondii has infested the brains of as many as 20 per cent of Americans (and 55 per cent of French people), refashioning neural connections to make us more fearless, more prone to schizophrenia, and – not incidentally – better disposed to cats, in whose guts the parasites reproduce. ~ The Week
Anything that makes 55 percent of my French relatives better disposed to cats is fine by me; however I am quoting this only to show how creative we are at finding new sources for all our woes.
Here’s a simple illustration of casting around outside for something on which to blame our own states of mind. We’re sitting here peacefully reading this article, but now someone walks into the room – someone we are finding a little irritating of late, or with whom we have a complicated relationship. They don’t do a single thing, but they ignore us, and we start to get annoyed. Then they go out again. Our mind starts to calm down.
Let’s analyze this
Maybe they’re just coming into the room to get a pen, or something. Perhaps they’re not ignoring us, they are simply preoccupied with some pressing matter, or don’t want to disturb our peaceful reading. They could be thinking all sorts of things. But we don’t take any of that into account. They walk in, they’re irritating already, and then they ignore us again; and that gets added to the catalog of grievances that they’ve inflicted on us since time began. This person is suddenly Mr. Irritation Number One. We’ve labeled him.
Then, when they leave the room, and we settle back to our reading, the irritation starts to lift. We were happy, then they came in, then we got unhappy, then they left, then we calmed down again ~ isn’t this all proof that they are the source of irritation?! We may smile wryly reading this, but in the heat of the moment that’s what we think, isn’t it?
That’s what it feels like, and that’s why we get irritated with them. Mentally, and then the next time we see them, we cry: “You ignore me, you’re always ignoring me, and I hate you! You make my life miserable! You do! If you were out of my life I’d be happy and confident all the time. Look at you, you walked out of the room and I became happy again.”
We’re doing it all the time, aren’t we? We’re actually thinking the causes of our irritation do lie in other things or other people. And we think it’s perfectly okay, normal, and reasonable to assume that – that is what everybody else does. What’s wrong with it?
Disempowerment
(Someone once asked me about another more extreme example — say a person came up to you and hit you, would you then have a legitimate reason to be upset? I replied that we could say that it was perfectly normal and reasonable to get upset, and so on and so forth, but the fact remains that by allowing ourselves to get upset, we compound the injury, whereas if we manage to stay peaceful, un-upset, in that instance where is the problem? You are still relinquishing control to the other person by letting them hurt you mentally. Of course we need to work our way up to being able to stay un-rattled in situations like this, but simply knowing that we are never really free whilst we feel entirely dependent on others’ behavior is a good starting point for practice.)
This is one major reason why we’re not as happy as we would like to be, why we continue to suffer, why we continue to experience unhappiness. It is because we’re not in control – we allow everything and everybody to get to us. But what is actually getting to us is our own delusions.
My parasites made me do it
10 Comments
One day at Manjushri I placed my tent under a waterfall and when it started to rain water started to come inside my tent at the middle of the night, I placed a towel where the water was coming in from and spected that would solve the problem. Not realizing the water was not coming from the tent itself but from the water channel itself I couldn’t solve the problem and it was a matter of time until the towel got completely wet and afterwards my sleeping bag. I think is similar what we do with our delusions, unpleasant feelings and any other kind of suffering. We try to blame others or cover it up without thinking or investigating the real cause of it. Thanks for the post, it was nice reading it.
thank you, great analogy 🙂
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Yes, the delusions are ‘utterly enfeebling’ (love that phrase!) Makes me wonder why we bother. Welcome back hun.
Thank you for the beautiful simplicity of this. It appears to be a great cause of happiness for me. : )
Thank-you, very nice practical presentation of dharma 🙂
Thank you. It always amazes me when I realise I really do need to have my memory jogged. And, by the way, where have you been? I have missed your wonderful shares. Keep them coming please. Fae.
Now I understand why you are better disposed to kittehs!
glad to see your “blogging” again”!. I’ve missed my luna wisdom fix. Love Mark
When I’m trying to control the unfolding moment whilst say, as the listener in a conversation with another, sometimes my self cherishing mind causes an interlude of delusion pain. From mistaking the situation as existing independently from its own side, develops the uncertainty fear factor of a possible uncontrolled death and a quiet panic attack of self grasping ignorance ensues. Samsara’s net of suffering has completely overwhelmed me once again